Functional Dysfunction
What do I mean when I say functional dysfunction? Well, let’s just dive on in. The way I operate is probably considered dysfunctional by the standard of the world. But over here in my little corner of the world, I don’t give two rips what that standard is. Mostly because all it’s ever made me feel is shitty. I’m not “healthy” according to most doctors because of my weight. I prefer to use more natural, clean, supplements and essential oils over medications when I can but my kids still eat pizza rolls and eat frosted flakes. We don’t eat organic food because its freaking expensive, but I try to incorporate a lot of produce into our meals. I don’t fall into any one genre or stereotype of mom or human being. I’m all over the place.
I think that there is this idea that if you desire to do something differently, if you don’t do it 100% the way it “should be”, then you’ve failed & you don’t belong in that space. And that just simply couldn’t be further from the truth. Just because the number on the scale is higher than what would be considered “normal” or “healthy” for my height, doesn’t mean I’m not healthy. My body is able & actually quite strong. I have as much energy as any other mom who has two small children running circles around them all day. (Coffee is still my best friend though, don’t get that wrong.)
When we had Carson, I was absolutely 110% sucked into the essential oil/clean living world. Those little bottles are a godsend, I won’t deny that. But my mindset around clean living was toxic. (Oxymorons are the story of my entire life.) I believed if I didn’t have every single essential oil or toxin free product to replace every chemical in our home, it wasn’t worth it and I was failing. It was an all or nothing mindset. I did that with everything. Fitness - if I wasn’t doing the hardest workouts, no breaks, taking all the supplements, protein shakes - I wasn’t going to get anywhere. Weight loss - if I wasn’t sticking to a diet program, if I “cheated” even once - I failed.
Every. Single. Thing. That’s how I operated, which is a heck of a lot more dysfunctional then how I live now in my opinion.
So now I’m just out here being different. I’m considered dysfunctional for a lot of reasons. But for me, I make it functional. I think the things I do, even if they aren’t per the guidelines and rules, are helpful. To myself & my family. We don’t eat 100% “junk” food, but we don’t eat all organic, non processed, home cooked meals either. It’s too expensive. And trust me I’ve heard the schpeels. We don’t have any unnecessary expenses that are making it so that we can’t spend the money on organic foods, it’s just flat out expensive. Even if I canceled all our streaming subscriptions, never went out to eat, never got Starbucks, never did anything remotely fun, well maybe we could barely afford that then, but I’ll keep my Starbucks & target trips. Thanks.
Moral of the story is, it’s just not something that I feel like I need to do & THAT IS OKAY. It’s okay if you do it, it’s okay if you don’t. It’s okay if you work out for fun and if you don’t follow a pattern or program. It’s okay if you don’t work out at all. There isn’t one way to do anything. Whatever works for you, IT IS OKAY.
I think the more of what this world needs is listening. More listening to each other. More accepting that just because someone is different doesn’t mean we hate them, or don’t associate with them. I’ve learned a lot from my friends who don’t do things the way I do them & they’ve learned a lot from me. And when we learn something from each other we have more in common& our relationship gets better, our knowledge grows, all good things. Imagine that.
There’s more to life then just trying to shove ourselves in whichever mold we think is best. If you find yourself doing that, I give you permission to take said mold, put it in box and burn it. It’s time to discover ourselves, find out the cool things we can do, THE DIFFERENT THINGS WE CAN DO. There is no one out there that can do the things you can do, the way you can do them.
And I think that is pretty freaking rad.